Once you've mastered the art of knitting, making another jumper can seem a little mundane and let's face it no one wants a homemade scarf for the third Christmas running. With your knitting needles and wool at the ready, the world is your oyster. It seems we are not alone in this opinion, from tortoise cosies to toast, you have been there, knitted that. With this in mind we bring you thirteen items that just shouldn't have been made...should they?
1. The tortoise cosy
The same idea as a tea cosy but for a moving animal with a shell to protect it that also doesn't need to be kept warm (don't they hibernate through the winter?) However despite being utterly pointless, there is something oddly appealing about dressing your tortoise up as jaws.
2. The Ferrari
Some of us dream of driving a Ferrari, others dream of knitting one. Artist Laurent Porter created the life size woollen replica because "it is instantly recognisable and the opposite of what people expect from something that is knitted." You said it Laurent.
3. The knitted chair
Super cosy and warm or really scratchy and bobbly - we just can't decide. Unless someone wants to knit us one to try we'll leave this one for you guys to work out.
4. The onesie
You either love them or hate them (and secretly own one) the onesie is the fashion statement that has swept the nation. Giving students the chance to dress as big babies on a daily basis, you can't put a price on comfort right? Despite this, we think the only excuse for wearing a knitted onesie would be emigrating to the North Pole alone. Forever.
5. The boob
Yep were not joking. Knitted breasts are widely used by midwives, health visitors and breast feeding volunteers to help mums learn more about attachment. The NHS is always grateful to receive knitted breasts, however expect odd looks making these in public.
6. The apple jacket
First there was the banana box, now the knitted apple jacket - the war against bruised fruit continues. The latest accessory in fruit fashion, these little jackets can be made to match your handbag - naked apples are just so last season.
7. The rock cosy
We've all seen our pet rocks shivering outside in the winter. To put an end to this nightmare, we introduce crochet rock cosies.
8. The poo
This one left us all speechless...just why?
9. The baby wig
You too could turn your child into a real life cabbage patch doll with a crochet baby wig (please don't).
10. Nike trainers like you've never seen them before
We didn't expect to come across these in our search and although they would be a nightmare when wet, we still think they would be the comfiest shoes ever.
11. Cat clothes
Nowadays, buying your pooch a Barbour jacket or your feline a new t-shirt is an acceptable occurrence. Although they have fur to keep them warm, we love any excuse to dress them up and share on Instagram. When it comes to knitted outfits however, we are not so sure.
12. Knitted food
Another one we just don't understand. Surely eating the food would be far more satisfying than spending hours knitting it? From a full English breakfast to a slice of woolly pizza, it seems food is our favourite thing to knit after jumpers. You know what they say, if you can't beat them...
13. Finally, the mouse trap made from wool
We are happy to report there is finally a solution to the well known problem of knitted mice nibbling the furniture. On the other hand, this also makes a great gift for the mouse lovers out there who want to pretend they have the situation under control.
If you've created something that belongs on this weird and wonderful list then let us know or send us a photo on Facebook. On the other hand, if that scarf now looks more appealing, take a look at our knitting courses and get going.
Jane McGuire received her BA (English) from the University of Loughborough. A yoga enthusiast with a sweet tooth, in her spare time you will probably find Jane in the gym or online shopping.