‘I’m the Apprentice. End of’
Jade O'Donoghue

‘I’m the Apprentice. End of’

The Apprentice Quotes

First published date June 13 2013 Amended date February 24 2015

Each year the Apprentice comes to our screens and we can't help but become hooked on all that goes on inside that boardroom. While the show is a great insight into the world of business and an interesting way of staging a job interview, it’s also a programme filled with hilarity, mishaps and generally dubious decision making. We love everything about it – the naming of the teams (always words like ‘stealth’ or ‘empire’), the excuses in the boardroom, the hapless way they go about performing even the most simplest of tasks, but above all, the bragging.


Boasting about what you can do and how great you are is what really makes the Apprentice and it’s the funny quotes that come from the show that really keep the contestants in our mind. While we certainly wouldn’t recommend you coming out with any of these Apprentice quotes at a real apprenticeship interview, we couldn’t resist sharing some of the best here…


1.        ‘Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon’ – Melody Hossaini, series seven

Though this one could be considered inspirational, it’s hard to see how space travel relates to getting a job with Lord Sugar.


2.        ‘I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a ten-trick pony, I’m a whole field of ponies, and they’re literally all running towards this job.’ – Stuart Baggs, series six

 Your guess is as good as ours as to what Stuart actually means by this. He might have been better off applying for an apprenticeship in agriculture and animal care instead.


3.        ‘Karmically, they’ll be retributed’ – Melissa Cohen, series six

Melissa made a lot of Apprentice fans chuckle with the funny quotes she came out with as she kept making up new words. She may need to take an English refresher course before starting an apprenticeship, since another classic was ‘conversate’.


4.         ‘There are two types of people in the world: winners and…I don’t know how to say the word. I can’t say it.’ Ian Stringer, series four

It’s very rare that an apprentice candidate is stuck for words so this moment was probably one to relish. Unfortunately Ian had to learn the word loser quite quickly since he was fired in the third week of the series.


5.        ‘I’m alive. There are so many people that aren’t alive or have died, unfortunately. I’m alive and that’s a gift, frankly’ – Stuart Baggs, series six

It wouldn’t be a list of Apprentice quotes without another one from Stuart Baggs and though he didn’t win, we can’t help but wish he was still on our TV screens.


6.        ‘I’m the Apprentice. End of’ – Ruth Badger, series two

Of all our favourite self promoting Apprentice quotes this one is the best. It’s simple, straightforward and shamelessly big headed. In fairness to Ruth though, she did end up coming second.


7.        ‘Business is the new rock ‘n’ roll and I’m Elvis Presley’ – Philip Taylor, series five

Since he’s so knowledgeable about the music industry, Philip might want to forget the apprenticeship with Lord Sugar and go for one in media and communications instead.


8.        ‘As a salesperson, I would rate myself as probably the best in Europe’ – Jennifer Maguire, series four

Big claim there, based on exactly what evidence is anyone’s guess. If she’s that passionate about selling, a sales apprenticeship might be on the cards for Jennifer.


9.        ‘I think outside the box. If I was an apple pie then the apples inside me would be oranges’ – Alex Epstein, series six

This is one of those funny quotes that simply makes no sense at all. Perhaps Alex ought to ditch the whole business career plan and go for a cookery course instead.


10.     ‘I’m prepared to fight to the death to become Lord Sugar’s business partner’ – Francesca MacDuff-Varley, series nine

This is probably one of the most worrying Apprentice quotes we’ve heard. Someone needs to let Francesca know that this isn’t the Hunger Games. 

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Jade O'Donoghue

Jade will talk your ear off about rowing if you let her. She studied an MA and NCTJ diploma in Journalism at Brunel but her course-taking didn't stop there, having tried a number of different subjects since working here, even magic. Whether you're an expert who wants to share their knowledge, a student who's had a great experience or you just want to say hi, she'd love you to get in touch through our social media pages.